Mama's Boy

HELP! I think Momo has become a Mama’s boy. Not just because I am the one he gravitates towards most often when he hurts himself, the one he calls for from bed in the middle of the night or early in the morning. Those are all pretty typical of mother’s relationships with kids based off my own experience growing up and also how the mother child relationship, especially with little kids, is portrayed in pop culture. 

Beyond that ‘expected’ behavior he goes a step beyond and can be extra sassy to Mike when competing for my attention or with his various requests. Lots of times he wants me to be the one to give him the bath, make the pancakes with him, take him to the park, do morning drop off at school, etc. All things that Mike is completely capable, willing, able and offering to do with him. 

Following the rules and discipline are two things that Momo is extra defiant about with Mike. He isn’t an angel with me but he tends to play along when I lay down the law. When he gets a scolding or is sent to time out by Mike he comes to me expecting a safe haven and then I end up being the one to further reinforce the punishment.

Mike and I are both aware of the current dynamic and talk about it often. Breaking down what we are doing to empower each other as parents in equal parts discipline, fun and playful with him.

Personally though I am mostly struggling with our week day mornings. These are a further proof point for my case against the mama’s boy. On the days when I leave the house before school drop off and my schedule doesn’t allow for me to be the one taking him to school he most often whines, cries, begs that I stay or take him to school.

In January we officially introduced ‘mama days’ and ‘dada days’ for pick up and drop off to streamline our own craziness in the mornings and to give Mario a sense of what to expect every day of the week. He has mostly caught on and we do our best to stick to the existing schedule but of course the random & unexpected early meeting or biz travel can get in the way. I would like to say that he now looks forward to Mama days and Dada days but I think Spring break really threw a wrench into our organized chaos. We are now just slightly over one week back into our routine and I am reminding myself the importance of setting expectations and over communicating our plans. Maybe I have to remind him each night before bed if it is a mama day or a dada day. When he wakes up remind him again. Just this morning was such a struggle. A dada day meant that he was extra clingy and lets be honest annoying as I am trying to get out the door and start my day in a good place mentally which is beneficial for everyone.

Would love your feedback or ideas on a few of the points above. But most of all how to get out of the house without the whining, crying and begging me to not leave him? How do you curb the favoritism between mom & dad? Can you relate?

xx ly